Why do I want to stream?
I asked Nixxiom (my favorite streamer, him and Laputyn, his wonderful wife) in chat today about streaming. I've been watching a lot of streams and the insane amount of trolls was making me want to back off. But he had a few great words of wisdom (that nobody clipped, damnit) - boiling down to the fact that I'll have my inner circle of family and friends that I'll be streaming for, and the opinions of some little jerkface a continent and ocean away really won't matter. Their opinions DON'T matter. He's right. The little trolls coming can be dealt with by mods, me, or just ignored.
I already know what a lot of them are going to say. I'm ready for those comments for sure. So again, knowing that this torrent of stupidity will be heading at me, why do I want to stream?
In nearly every stream I've watched, what I see is people crying out for family, for attention, for calm, for peace, for something. Not the streamers (though some of them also to be sure), but the people chatting in streams. Everyone is freaking lonely and filled with anxiety. Everyone is just stressed the hell out. This world is becoming more stressful, and people are becoming more lonely. They log on to try to relax and connect, and they're usually blasted with a wave of terrible news, toxic personalities, and a wall of - let's be honest - shit.
I want to stream an oasis away from that. I am scripting right now. Light scripting, as in what I'll be doing every segment. I won't be taking about that yet, but it won't be an ASMR chill stream. It's going to be a stream with a grandma.
If I have 20 regular viewers in a year, I'll be happy. I'm certainly not streaming for money. My husband and I are very lucky in our lives in that he has an outstanding job, so we have a roof over our heads that's paid for, a wonderful family and friends, beautiful and quirky animals, a forest to live in, and food in our stomachs. What I want to do is share that with people virtually - that life can be peaceful, and has many GOOD things in it also. People have to remember the good again. I want to help them bring some of that peace into their own lives. I want them to know that people are still out here who DO care. For every jerk a continent and ocean away, there's someone ready to do an oral defense of a dissertation and is scared, or someone who's lost their job and is worried, or someone who's been stricken with an illness, or someone who's lost someone and is drowning in their grief - there is not one life out there without problems. Not one.
I won't be dispensing advice a lot, I won't be a "Dear Abby" stream. Instead I'm just going to do other things to show some positive sides of life. I will chat happily with friends and family, and if others want to be included in that community, however extended, that's what I'd like to be. The virtual comfy grandma. We'll do silly activities, fun stuff, and happy stuff. (And geeky!!) The virtual living room will be open and I want it to be warm and welcoming. It won't be saccharine - my son is catching up on Game of Thrones and says I remind him of Olenna Tyrell (yeesh - better than Cersei though!), but it will be a "home". For the outcasts from the outcasts - for people considered to "old" to be streaming or watching, or too "normie", or too "uncool" even among the uncool, there will be a place to come and just relax and enjoy. No knowledge of Aniki will be required. The word "scuffed" can or cannot be used at viewer discretion. You can vape or not vape, nobody is going to judge or care. Anime knowledge or not, nobody will care. The idea is to be yourself, and stop worrying that you have to be a "Chad" or that you're an "incel" or whatever the hell the other geeks are saying to try to bring people down or make them feel left out. Just be yourself and be welcome and have fun, even if it's "uncool".
That's why I'm streaming. For the lonely everywhere. For the engineers stuck living in their RVs all over the Bay Area just trying to get by and feeling out of place. For the kid who's chubby and bullied even in an age where there's supposedly "No Bullying" (my huge ass, there's no bullying). For the gentle quiet soul who enjoys playing Stardew Valley and suffers extreme social anxiety. For the person new to the US from India trying to work in the Bay and misses their family. For the lonely person in Wyoming who doesn't hunt. For the lonely person in Alaska who does. For the hyper cool dude in Denmark who secretly just wants to have a cup of cocoa and read, but who has to be seen as always "on" and powerful. For the roadies and band members stuck in their buses missing home and forgetting what town they're in. For the trucker playing mobile games who's in a Flying J parking lot away from his family all the time. For the quiet lonely person in their apartment in London who feels somehow out of phase with the world today. For the elderly person who doesn't understand any of the culture of Twitch but stumbled upon it and uses it to fill their empty flat because it's been weeks since the kids called.
That's why I'm streaming. For a sense of home and warmth for people who would like that.
